10 simple rules for dating my teenage daughter
‘The fact is,’ he whispered to himself, ‘some bastard has thrown my daughter in a ditch as though she were a piece of rubbish. They said that neither he nor Nicola would be petrified for ever by the grief and rage of those terrible days.Ten years later the hard-won happiness of the couple is proof that some promises are too absolute to be broken.It was intimate, yes, but the fact that so many people took the trouble to share that secret, to tell us it was a simple fact of grief, helped hugely. Nicola found her joie de vivre and the woman I fell in love with returned to me.Slowly but surely we came back together as a couple, thank goodness.’They had been together for 20 happy years when Holly was murdered.
Says Nicola: ‘Despite us trying to be positive and resourceful, Oliver was extremely withdrawn in the years that followed Holly’s murder. All he knew was that his sister had gone and his parents couldn’t necessarily keep him safe.‘We always told our children that if they were scared or in trouble to run to family, friends, a policeman or a teacher.
It was one, almost two years before we found each other again, but grief gives you a different sense of the passage of time and it slipped by unnoticed.‘I took great comfort from the letters we received from parents who had also lost a child, to illness or in an accident. ‘And then when the time is right you both know and you have a romantic night out, a bottle of wine and a cuddle and cross that bridge.
They all said their sex lives had ended for a while. And once it is crossed it is really not an issue any more.‘Eventually, hard work and routine turned us around.
Above all they both still long to see, smell and hold the lost child they loved beyond measure.‘She was a star, our daughter,’ says Kevin, speaking to mark the tenth anniversary of the murders.
‘She was the kind of girl who would go to bed with a dictionary so that when I read her Harry Potter she could look up any words that she didn’t understand.